No music playing, trying to let the music in me come out. No comfortable, stable place to be – only a choice of spaces either being taken apart, or yet to be. Roughing it, roughing it out, designing a new life, a new me. The old never quite totally gone. Grief never fully fades – and sometimes love, even in its fullest power, can’t always bridge distance. Still, life lived finally in the light, right from the start, no shadows – that’s joy like nothing else. Been a long long time, my friend, since that’s how I rock n rolled.
Now, I need to let it shine out of me, to have learned, to have changed. Locking in a closed space only leads to ill, let it out, let it spill. Must remain engaged. There’s a whole world, and to be whole I have to let it in. Breathe with it, balance and flow, know.
WordPress ate my homework. I’ll pretend it was a better, wittier, and above all, *longer* post than it was, but it’s gone. Local Draft, published… turned up blank.
What can I say? Life’s been busy, life’s been amazingly, fantastically, ridiculously good. I’ve got so much to do that I’m dizzy with it – except at work, which continues to merely require my physical presence. I have no idea why I agreed to work a month beyond my notice. Oh well. 17 work days left on my sentence.
Now, if I can just get rid of most of my crap, move the rest to Berlin, and settle my finances so I don’t need to think about them for a year … I can just get on with it. Study German, do music, sniff out tech stuff, but mostly just enjoy being in the city I love. Being in love. And that not being *right* and not any sort of problem. 🙂
I might just have got the hang of being happy…